Reason 1: he'll still have to do his homework.
I've been doing some Hard Thinking today, and I think that I know what I'm going to manipulate my son into becoming when he grows up. Things that I have considered include doctor, mechanical F1 engineer, drummer, and whatever the opposite of lawyer is. And I think I've reached a conclusion:
Professional soccer player. Or footballer, as he'll be called in the region in which he'll play until he retires, as which point he will become a soccer player again when he retires to the MLS.
Now, why soccer player? For one, he'll have excellent hair, as determined by both parent's genetics. Excellent. And to be an international footballer, you need excellent hair. He'll also be athletic, because I need someone to play with after school and he'll likely be my go-to guy. The dogs are too small to come running with me for very long.
Another reason is that Canada is a great place to learn soccer. Four times as many kids play soccer as hockey, for example (source: CBC somewhere. Metro Morning I think). There's all kinds of soccer in Toronto, and we won't need to take out a mortgage to fund a ball and shoes for him (ideal). When he gets really good, we'll move to Australia or Spain or somewhere where they take training Very Seriously. That will also be good for his parents. Cricket is another option that would steer us in this direction, but I'm not very good at cricket, whereas I've played many (2) full seasons of soccer internationally (I played in a rec league in Perth last year) and I think I've mastered the strategy.
Yet another reason is that he won't grow up with a sense of self-entitlement. If you will allow me to make a sweeping but still somewhat accurate generalization, kids that play hockey are assholes in high school. They get to skip class all the time. If their teachers are connected to the team: no homework, easy grades. If God forbid the team wins, same deal for all teachers. I happen to be related to a certain Speric Flindros's high school English teacher. He answered his 1st gen cell phone in class. Playing hockey in Toronto means that my rush hour just got extended by an hour every time I have to drive to a practice on the opposite end of the city. Toronto also sucks for cheap and accessible ice time. Plus I don't want my child to know that I am paying $40,000 per year for him/her to play hockey, and sending them to public school. That seems wrong somehow.
Also, I like the idea of summering on a yacht in Monaco. For that reason, F1 driver is still not off the table, although I have to start researching how a Canadian kid can get into F1 driving. I believe that it starts with letting him/her drive you to work when they are six. Details to come.
I think soccer is the way to go. All the hockey kids I knew growing up were, as you say, assholes and had a certain sense of entitlement. They also (typically) had really stupid hair styles - just ask Eric about the time his entire team dyed their hair blonde.
ReplyDeleteI played soccer from age 7 until 21 and I guarantee my parents spent less over my entire 'career' than most parents would spend on a single year of hockey. Also, think of how long your son will be able to run after all that cardio he'll get in with soccer.
I'm not saying that I'm "against" all hockey, as that would be hypocritical. But maybe I'm concerned that he'll get good and want to play in the inconvenient levels. Maybe I'll teach my son how to play hockey the wrong way so that he'll always be challanged.
ReplyDeleteOr rollerblade hockey. He'll hate that. And the skills are totally non-transferable.
God forbid he shows signs of being a good goalie.